“One ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
This axiom, credited to Benjamin Franklin, is as true today as it was then. Especially if you want to help your kids steer clear of pornography.
This quick post is designed to do that very thing: help you help your kids steer clear of pornography.
I am a father of three teenagers. I am a man who has won hard-fought freedom from porn’s grip. This ‘ounce’ of prevention is designed to give you some handles so that you can do the rest!
Take it seriously! Porn is an epidemic that targets the youngest of our community.
Here are three simple suggestions that may give you a place to start:
Daily check-ins!
Spend a few minutes everyday in download mode with your kids. I’d suggest around dinner, or just before bed time. You, however, know your child (or children) best. Take advantage of the moments you have. Simply ask them how their day went.
Let them know you care about them.
Encourage open lines of communication. If they have seen or have been viewing porn, then they are likely hiding it from you. This produces shame and guilt, which will potentially lead them view porn again. You can minimize this cycle with a daily check in.
Delight in them!
I know, it sounds weird. But if your child (or children) know that you take delight in them, then they will learn to take delight in themselves. Kids, more than ever, need to know that parental and familial wells of love run deep!
Notice them.
Discover the things they love or those activities and endeavors in which they excel. Pay attention to their hobbies. Then affirm them!
Again and again and again.
I have encountered hundreds of children and teenagers who have been tricked into porn because they didn’t feel well-loved in their home, by mom or dad. I’ve always believed that a well-loved soul cultivates a life that’s well-lived!
So, take delight in your kids.
That means some of us will have to stop delighting so much in ourselves.
Demonstrate Grace!
The day will come when you will discover that your child (children) has stumbled into porn, so to speak. I promise you that they can stumble into it without ever trying to find it. Porn targets our children. That’s why social apps ought to be under the highest parental scrutiny. So, when that day comes, handle it with grace. Show love and extend mercy.
Yes, you’ll need to put in boundaries. Yes, you’ll need to take restrictive measures.
But, before you begin dealing in the ‘whats and hows,’ you’ll need to fish out the ‘whys.’ All too often we overreact and push our children further from us. The road of consequences is best paved with the gravel of grace!
Take a minute.
Step back.
Treat your children like you wish your father had treated you. I’ve learned this lesson the hard way! I try to treat my children like my heavenly Father treats me. I love the way James Bryan Smith puts it in his book, The Good and Beautiful God, when he says, “The way God is Father to me teaches me how to be a good Father to my children.” Amen.
There you go. Just one ounce will go a long way! If you need some help, please reach out to me. It’s a journey we are all on, its time we wake up and realize it!
Disrupting to Renew!
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