Hurricane Dorian is wreaking havoc already, and it’s still days from making landfall. I have lived in Florida nearly all of my adult life.
As such, I am accustomed to dealing with hurricanes.
By saying that I am accustomed to dealing with hurricanes, I don’t mean to imply that I know how to handle them. Instead, I mean that expecting them, preparing for them, and doing my best to endure them is now a matter of habit.
Indeed, activities I used to give considerable forethought, are now second nature. For example, without much thought, I have already taken the following steps to get ready:
If you want to recover from your porn addiction, you will need to discover the power of habit formation!
Discovering and developing new habits are central to your freedom!
Many reasons, but one is that the porn habit you are now starving is going to get hungry.
When the addiction or compulsion gets hungry, it’s going to want you to feed it – as you have done so many times in the past. That’s why the closer you are to your addiction, the more fiercely you have to fight against it!
I am not talking about white-knuckle fighting. Instead, the intentional, yet determined fight that discovers and develops positive habits that will begin (over time) to replace the old ones!
Habit Formation and Freedom
My recovery road is bumper-to-bumper habit formation. As I review the last two decades of recovery, I see many habits that have come and gone (yes, they can be seasonal) and many more that have continued to serve me to this day.
In this post, I am going to share a few of my personal favorites.
I am also going to recommend some excellent resources.
I will then invite you to share yours with me.
In the early days of my recovery, the battle was, at times, debilitating.
If not for the following five habits, I am not sure where I’d be today, but I know I wouldn’t be here!
Have you ever wondered how to unsee all those pornographic images you’ve spent years viewing?
If so, you’re not alone. In fact, that’s a common – and often misunderstood – part of the journey. Especially when you want to make the transition from a life saturated by free-porn to a life that’s finally porn-free!
Once you decide it’s time to live a porn-free life, you begin to notice how hard it is to get all those images out of your head.
Many of us find ourselves fighting images every moment of the day. Many find that pornographic images also haunt our dreams at night.
In my experience, the toughest part of the battle is unseeing what we’ve seen!
I want to pick up where I left off many weeks ago: writing about the church – specifically, the church as a new kind of community.
A few weeks ago, however, I realized that I have to begin writing about pornography, again.
Honestly, I don’t want to write about pornography. I wish it (porn, I mean) simply weren’t a “thing.”
But it is a “thing.” It’s a terribly toxic “thing” that I suspect is worse than you know.
Solicitation and Sex-Trafficking in Our Backyard
In our small community, the authorities arrested hundreds of men who were soliciting prostitution in local massage parlors. Many of these “prostitutes” are victims of a sex trafficking network that reaches across the globe.
Reading about this news was like getting sucker-punched in the gut.
As I read the news, I knew that porn lurks behind this type of behavior. There are, no doubt, other factors. But porn is always the common denominator in such behavior.
I’ve also been reminded, in recent days and weeks, of how pervasive porn consumption and addiction is and how much destruction it is causing. It breaks my heart to think that we’ve raised an entire generation on this filth. They are the generation coming of age and asking questions like, “how could you do such a thing?”
The Christmas season is one of gift-giving and receiving. In all likelihood you will, on Christmas morning, celebrate this gift-exchange tradition with friends and family. You may gather around a tree, in a living room, near a fireplace, etc. and open gifts shared by those who love you and those whom you love.
If you happen to be struggling with your porn addiction during this season, you’ll likely be disengaged from this life-giving moment.
You may, in fact, totally check out.
Indeed, if you’ve been trolling the web for porn in recent days, then meaning-filled, life-giving moments of community such as the ones I’ve just described could easily and quickly overwhelm you.
While the external joy may be palpable to everyone else, your internal, secret shame will prevent you from the soul-enriching moment this opportunity provides.
You will want to run.
And you may think that running is your best option.
You may believe that running is your only option.
Porn addiction bedevils us into believing that secrecy and segregation are the only options we have available to us. The addiction screams within, “Run away, you’re not good enough to enjoy this gift. Run away, return to me.”
It’s a lie and we all know it.
I am not sure we know – or have experienced – why it’s a lie. To know why it’s a lie is to discover hope.