The Preteen Field is Drenched in Blood and Porn is its Reaper!
Are you one of those who still believe that Porn and civility can coexist?
Many do.
I know that correlation (we detect a relationship between the proliferation of porn and violence in our culture) and causation (porn proliferation can be traced directly to, or is the cause of, abuse and violence among teens) are two very different things.
But it doesn’t take a statistician to know that Porn is reaping a bloody harvest in what should be our most fertile field.
The field? Teens and preteens.
They are, after all, Porn’s primary target.
The Preteen “Field” is Red With Blood and Porn is its Reaper
It’s time we wake up and seek, pursue, and achieve the eradication of porn in our lifetime.
In this post, I am going to spell out the why now is the time.
If you have any loved ones under the age of eighteen, then consider this post your must-read of the weekend!
Mary Sharpe, chief executive of The Reward Foundation, recently observed,
“The number of child-on-child sexual assaults has doubled in the last four years. This is according to recent data released by police forces across England and Wales. The investigation has found that almost 3,000 reported sexual offences have been carried out on school premises by children under 18.”
You read that right. The number of child-on-child assaults has doubled in the last four years. From social media, to the school room, to the local library, our children are no longer safe.
The Predator that Is Porn
Why?
Because our children are exposed to – literally assaulted by – pornography before they reach the age of ten.
The reason is that Porn consumption mimics drug addiction. Research indicates viewing porn is somewhat like electronic cocaine.
Translation: Once you start, it’s nearly impossible to stop.
Sharpe concludes,
“Watching pornography is a like a drug, an addiction that affects the brain. Some experts call it electronic cocaine. With normal drugs you need more and more of the same to get back hit. With pornography, you need new, indecent and more shocking to get back hit. And of course internet pornography provides that.”
Our children aren’t looking for porn.
Rather, porn is looking for our children.
This indisputable fact is enough to make the statement: All porn is predatory!
It’s time we all, especially parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches, school boards, etc., wake-up!
No need to live in fear.
There are ways to protect yourself and your children.
I will close with three suggestions that I’ve found practical and useful.
Develop Healthy and Consistent Patterns of Connection and Communication With Your Child(ren).
If at all possible, you need to address the realities of porn and sexual distortion before your child(ren) is/are exposed to porn.
I recommend developing times around the dinner table when you talk about everyone’s day. Maybe a weekly trip to the park or playground where you can discuss life and all the experiences of your child.
Remember, though their world is considerably smaller than yours, kids have a well-developed network of relational influence beyond the home at earlier and earlier ages these days!
A basic rule of thumb: your child is vulnerable to being exposed to the same things that his/her classmate and neighborhood friends oldest siblings are experiencing.
Model Healthy Habits of Sexual Joy In Your Home!
The best way for a child to experience real love (as opposed to the counterfeit porn offers) is to see it in mom and dad and experience in the home where they live! If you’re married, be diligent to love one another deeply! I encourage single-parents to be determined to honor the power of sexuality and affirm its goodness when shared within a loving and committed relationship.
If you are watching porn, then work on yourself before you address this with your child. I am not saying you need to be perfect, but you need to be honest! It’s okay to admit that you struggle. Just don’t hide your porn addiction while you try to help your child with their own.
Minimize Exposure to the Technological World.
We are a wireless world, I know. Your four-year-old son or daughter, however, doesn’t need a smart phone or tablet. That’s sheer lunacy. I promise you that you cannot keep porn out of their life once you allow smart phones unfettered access to your child. Smart phones are pocket-size perversion centers.
If your child does have access to technology, just restrict their use of it. For example, in our home we endeavor to keep phones/screens in open areas (never behind a closed-door). We also expect phones to be charged in a common area, rather than near the bed.
And, finally, we look time during the week when the phones/screens can be turned off completely. I do recommend that parents and guardians follow the guidelines implemented in the home.
Porn and civility cannot coexist. In fact, the opposite is true: porn erodes civility as it nurtures violence.
Disrupting to Renew!
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